Thursday 3 – Marriage

First of all, I want to thank all the MLCers for their well wishes as Paula and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.  I know that not everyone who reads my blog posted congratulatory messages – but some of you passed it on in emails and others in spirit.  And for that, Paula and I thank all of you for sharing our love.


I thought I’d do a Thursday 3 on Marriage – but I need to tread lightly.  Marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be for everyone.  Some folks are perfectly happy having their independence and enjoy the bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle.  Others get married and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.  But you gave it a shot.  Some will say “been there, done that”, while others might say “been there, willing to try it again”.  There is no right or wrong answer.  You are who you are and you live the life that you feel the most comfortable with.




Okay, so here we go:


  1. What’s your take on marriage?
  2. What is the key to a good marriage?
  3. What’s a good wedding song?


Here’s my replies:



  • What’s your take on marriage?
    Personally, I like being married.  I learned early on that I “need to belong”.  Not that I need someone to depend on, but rather I need someone to depend on me.  It gives me purpose.  It feeds my soul.
  • What is the key to a good marriage?
    Boy, if it were only that simple, right?  It’s give and take.  It’s adjusting.  It’s like a job – that you have to work at to keep the business going, and with it comes rewards.  I believe that when you love someone, you have to love everything about that person.  That means everything that is important to them.  Their parents, their children perhaps, their friends, their likes and dislikes.  And in return, they need to be able to accept everything that is dear to you.  Well, most everything.  Okay, if not accept – at least tolerate.  Give and take, right?
  • What’s a good wedding song?




70’s Nightclub Reunion – less than a month away.

2015080870s NCR Plus - Flyer



33 Responses to “Thursday 3 – Marriage”

  1. LINDA KATO says:

    Happy Anniversary Rod and Paula… may you two enjoy many more wonderful years together ❗

    Although this is my 3rd spouse (30 years together now) ❗ I love being married ❗ Life was meant to be shared… I love sharing meals with hubby and doing things together… especially traveling to Vegas with him. We share responsibility for seeing our two children through college and medical school… almost there… Lynne graduates in Vegas on 11/1/15! Yay! One more down, one more to go…. Kevin our youngest is at UH Manoa studying to become a Mechanical Engineer! The U.S. Navy asked him to return to military service as an officer… we will see how that goes… he has to fly to D.C. for an in person interview with the Director of the Navy… how special is that?! Fingers crossed we will someday have an empty nest again… but for now… he is our housesitter when we travel! Sweet!

    I could not have participated in all the political activities I did for our past Governor Lingle if hubby had not been Mr. Mom while I was serving on her volunteer committees… or juggled multiple jobs… such as my real estate job and my job with the Honolulu Star-Bulletin as their lead customer service rep… if hubby didn’t watch and feed the kids for me while I worked 2 jobs… it had to be a partnership. Since he permitted me to do anything and everything I wanted to do… I do gave him his space… he loves martial arts… has always taken classes all of his life in various arts… still does so today, twice a week… walks 3 miles several times a week and works out at the Y… whew I get tired thinking about it… maybe one day I’ll join him at the Y but for now… my high is entering contests while sitting in cool A/C… too hot to go out walking until winter! LOL! I can’t imagine my life without my life partner… he loves yard work, I don’t…. I love a clean house… he won’t clean… so we compliment each other. I’m attending his 70 year old Kalani High School reunion… he asked me if I get bored at these events… of course not… I make my own good time wherever I go… and I’m the youngest one there! It was fun looking younger than everyone else in the room! 😀 Our table talked about Vegas.. my favorite topic! Despite our age difference… I know how to get along with just about anyone in his group… this one is a keeper… I would hate to have to go to Vegas alone… who would be my dining partner… although I have heard that eating at the counter at Market Street Café and talking the ears of the person sitting next to you is 2nd best! LOL! To each his own… but for me… I love sleeping next to someone I love every night and waking to a brand new day together… I love sharing my life with hubby! Every day is a good day! 😀

  2. LINDA KATO says:

    Good morning MLCers ❗ Happy Saturday ❗ 😀

    Have a great day everyone ❗ 😀

  3. Yoshi says:

    My take is, if you believe in it, do it. Although my first marriage lasted for 14 years, my ex and I weren’t connecting in many ways and we parted. We still go to her family gatherings, so, that’s a good thing? After that marriage I had fun being single, yet, for me something was missing. 7 years later, I met this beautiful women at a convention. We talked at the convention and days after and decided to date. 6 months later we married. My wife and I have very similar interests and we like dancing. My key to a good marriage is not to argue about little things. Since life is too short, make every day meaningful, I try to make my wife laugh every day. Hold hands and hug each other often – even now days when we’re hot and sticky. Also, tell her/him you love them. Hawaiian Wedding song is an oldie and goodie.

  4. Rodney says:

    I went to a wedding of a co-worker many moons ago. This was their wedding song. Nice choice.

  5. Seawalker says:

    @4G – You need high-heat when cooking Chinese food. That’s what I’m getting when it’s time to hang it up–a gas stove. Don’t know about high-end Chinese food though. The good-tasting stuff is pretty low-end. Hard to pay a pretty penny when you’re in a chop suey joint.
    Okay, back OT…

  6. Seawalker says:

    @kan – The only deep I’ll be in is deep kim chee if this bachelor gig continues. 😆 But you are right about being able to laugh with your mate. Hey, we do a whole bunch of laughing when we are with our friends. It’s an elixir to happiness.

  7. 4G says:


    eh, @Seawalker – this one’s for you. The future of Chinese Food:

  8. 4G says:

    Creating Space for Mistakes in Marriage, Love and Life

    from PositivelyPositive:

  9. Mark Ellis says:

    It’s a long story, but I’m going with Billy Idol’s “White Wedding.” No need for link to song, everybody knows it.

  10. KAN says:

    @sally – communication – absolutely. +100
    @seawalker – wow, you deep, man!

  11. dihudfan says:

    What’s your take on marriage?
    been there too many times… but faith brings you together…

    What is the key to a good marriage?
    respect for each other… be responsible for each other… learn from your mistakes…

    What’s a good wedding song?
    Chaka Khan… through the fire…

    Elvis Presley…. Hawaiian Wedding song…

  12. Mark Shelby says:

    Remember this? The Hawaiian Wedding Song. This was my Dads favorite of all time.

    One week after that was filmed, I rode on that dbl canoe with our friends from the mainland that we took to the Polynesian Cultural Center. And the girl told me that I was sitting were Elvis was last week! I was probably about 11 years old.

    And my friend Elaine Luff actually had a cousin that was a hula girl on the boat with Elvis. I met her and we talked about that time in history. Elvis actually bought her a pink Cadillac! He was famous for doing that. So fun to remember the good old days of Hawaii!

  13. Mark Shelby says:

    True Love… Truly a Gift! And most times, it happens only once in a lifetime.

  14. Mark Shelby says:

    I have a whole lot to say on this subject. I just don’t know how to post it all in one blog post. Because I have a mini series on this subject for sure, after all I have been through!

    So I will start with this song. I was reminded of it a few months back when I found it on youtube.

    You might initially think….oh Donny Osman is so 70’s and so yesterday. But please listen to the words of the song.

    That’s my heart!

    If I ever found the right one and got married again, I would want us to sing this song together exactly like this!

    And she better be a good singer! ; )

    DONNY OSMOND – The Gift

  15. Mark'75 says:

    …and at a wedding for a co-worker…

  16. Mark'75 says:

    and this…
    Air Supply – Two Less Lonely People in the World

  17. Mark'75 says:

    Heard this at plenty weddings:
    Melissa Manchester – Looking Through the Eyes of Love

  18. M says:

    Guud morning MLCs!
    For masako and I marriage is having God in your lives, praying together for each other daily, communication, supporting each other though the good and bad times, always being there for each other, being honest and open with each other, having a date night once a week, family time, making big sacrifices for your spouse and not expecting anything in return, comforting one another, admit when you are wrong and apologize…..

  19. Mark'75 says:

    @Rodney: I ditto your sentiments on marriage.

  20. AnkleBYTERS says:

    I would have Maroon 5 play at my wedding 🙂

  21. AnkleBYTERS says:

    Elton John – Your Song ((Piano Cover by Jake Coco)

    Maroon 5 – Sugar

  22. AnkleBYTERS says:

    Train – Marry Me

    Ellie Goulding – How Long Will I Love You

  23. AnkleBYTERS says:

    Feels Like Home was my son’s wedding song earlier this year….

    This one is very popular….
    Christina Perri – A Thousand Years

    For a marriage proposal….
    Bruno Mars – Marry You

  24. AnkleBYTERS says:

    What’s your take on marriage?

    There will come a time in your life when you will become infatuated with a single soul. For this person you’d do anything and not think twice about it….but when asked why… have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do….but you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly you hate it or how badly it hurts … you’ll love this person without regret….for the rest of your life. There will be always be that special place in your heart….open only to that person……” Lessons Learned in Life….

    What is the key to a good marriage?

    In every girls life….there’ll always be those three guys….the one she loves….the one she hates….and….the one she can’t get enough of….and in the end….they’re all the same guy…. 🙂

    For men….there are four rules – you need a woman who loves you unconditionally….a woman who will always challenge you….a woman who you always want to make love to….and….most important of all….you have to make sure that none of those women ever meet…. 😉 Lessons Learned in Life….

    What’s a good wedding song

    Chantal Kreviazuk – Feels Like Home

    Ed Sheeran – Photograph

  25. Seawalker says:

    What’s a good wedding song?

    Lionel Richie – The Only One
    (nope, that’s not me with the bleached hair in the video – hehehe)

  26. Seawalker says:

    Say you marry for love. Love is a choice. So when you first fell head over heals for that special person, it was intense. And you expect it to last forever (by choice). How wrong can that be! But the longer I stay married, the more I feel that love growing. When you let love grow to an even deeper level, that’s when you tell and convince yourself how wonderful life is (in reality).

    Now, to practice my lines for The Bachelor further. “_____, will you accept this rose?” Huh, no? Dang, just the nightclubs. “Eh, it’s your lucky night, you like dance with the new Denny Terrio?” Some things never change. LOL

  27. mows says:

    But the bible also states that marriage is not for everyone and if you enjoy being single then you should not get married.

  28. mows says:

    Marriage is biblical, the key to a good marriage is following God and putting God first above all else and obey His teachings.

  29. 4G says:

    1. What’s your take on marriage?

    “Different strokes for different folks”, from “Everyday People”, Sly and the Family Stone:

    2. What is the key to a good marriage?

    I’m pretty sure that a SINGLE thing is not all that is required. 😉

    What’s a good wedding song?

    No comment. LOL – actually, see my response to #1. 😉

  30. Sally says:

    Ok Ok Ok I’ll play.

    1 & 2. Marriage is something you do because it is RIGHT for both of you together. It is emotional, physical, psychological fulfillment that satisfies the needs of both. BOTH as in the TWO OF YOU.

    You play and work well together. You communicate. You display affection and respect. You give. You take. You share. You are grateful.

    Sounds like a no-brainer, but I see friends with marriages that epitomize all this and others who have resolved to just go thru the motions till they die.

    I could make a list of what marriage is NOT, but that’s not the blog topic lol.

    3. Wedding song: Ask almost any Hawaii 72 gang… my next wedding (like that’s ever going to happen) song will be Uluwehi Guerrero’s version of When You Tell Me That You Love Me. Entrance song will be Makaha Sons’ Ke Alaula.

  31. ankleBYTERS says:

    @sally – 🙂

  32. Sally says:

    Boy, are you ever asking the wrong person! LMAO!

  33. KAN says:

    What’s your take on marriage? I’ve never been married, although Sweetie and I have been together 20 years now. I understand other peoples’ desire to be married, but that’s just not for me.

    What is the key to a good marriage? Mutual respect and a willingness to compromise, I think. And a shared sense of humor.

    What’s a good wedding song? Funny, Rod, but I sang that Carpenter’s song at a friend’s wedding when we were in our twenties. That marriage lasted fewer than six months. (I stopped singing at weddings – I no like jinx someone else.)

    If Sweetie and I ever do get married, I want this played at the reception: Edwin McCain, “I Could Not Ask for More.”

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